Lonely For Her
by withinyou23
Summary: A Naley story that picks up after their fight in episode 510. What would have happened if Haley wasn't so quick to forgive Nathan? Would he go back to his old ways or fight to win her back? No copyright infringement intended
1. Chapter 1

Nathan sat on the wet pavement glaring into the pool. His eyes were practically stuck open as those horrible words sounded through his head over and over again.

_I want a divorce._

Did she really say that? She didn't mean it. She couldn't have meant it, not after everything they'd been through. And not with Jamie.

Nathan shuddered as the image of his son barely breathing in his arms flashed like lightning in front of his eyes. He pulled out his cell phone to check the time and realized that he'd been in a trance for almost two hours. Ever since Haley, gasping to catch her breath in between her tears, had carried Jamie inside and slammed the door behind them, Nathan had been in the same helpless position outside.

_What are you doing? _he thought to himself. _She's your wife, just go inside and tell her you love her and everything will be okay_.

Nathan didn't want to be that guy, but he was anyway - the one who had a tendency to royally screw up time after time and constantly beg those around him for forgiveness. He'd said "I'm sorry" to Haley countless times and by some miracle, he had married a girl who had it in her heart to see through his mistakes and love him anyway.

He got up and started to the door, looking up at the window of the bedroom he and Haley shared. Suddenly he realized this wasn't one of those times. The light was off and his wife and son were fast asleep. It was well into the night and there was no chance he'd get to lay beside her and make everything alright.

--

Haley's eyes blinked open when she heard a car start. Confused, she rolled over and saw Jamie sleeping silently next to her. She turned onto her back and closed her eyes again, but quickly opened them when she remembered everything that had happened.

_I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry._

_No! You stay away from us, this marriage is over._

A solitary tear left her eye as the lights from his car illuminated her room for a brief second. She had told him it was over. And now he was gone.

Nathan wasn't sure of where he was going, but he drove anyway. He remembered the last time he drove alone because of a fight with Haley. At least that time he was on his way to see her. She was on tour and even if he was hurting, he knew that she was happy because she was doing what she loved.

Now there was nowhere to go. He couldn't take back the exchanges between Carrie and him, he couldn't take back the awful words he'd said to her and the way he unintentionally hurt his own son.

Finally it hit him. He was at a stop sign when he could see the river court lit up only a few blocks away. Basketball. The only thing he could turn to when things got bad and when nothing made sense anymore, not even his family.

Nathan pulled in and turned off the ignition, looking to the back of the car to reach for his ball. Instead his eyes focused upon Jamie's car seat, a reminder that the world of fatherhood and marriage and love still existed. Even if he felt that he had just been removed from it.

He let out a deep breath, something that he hadn't done and needed to do. He began to think about Haley and Jamie.

_Everything I've ever done was for this family, Haley._

It was true, even if she didn't want to believe it at that moment. He had given her an ultimatum to either pursue music or be with him, but only because he knew he needed to let her go after her dream. He had shaved points in basketball and put her in danger, but his intention was to fix their financial troubles and to provide for her and their son, the two most important parts of his world.

_Maybe I don't need to be so strong_ _for them_, he thought to himself in the car. _How am I supposed to be looking out for other people when I can't even take care of myself?_


	2. Chapter 2

Haley opened her eyes to Jamie smiling an inch away from her face.

"Mama! Wake up!"

"Ohh Jamie it's a little too early for this."

"Where's Daddy?"

Her heart dropped. It seemed that every time she fell asleep her memory of it all was erased. But now everything came back to her.

"He's gonna be gone for a little while." The only thing she could bear to say to the 4-year old that had already witnessed more than he should have.

--

Lucas was on his way to Lindsey's house when he glanced out his side window and spotted his brother shooting hoops at the river court. He immediately turned the car around when he thought about Nathan and Haley and how Nathan was planning on telling her what had been going on with Carrie. Lucas was usually the one to shake off his problems at the river court. If Nathan was there, things must have been really bad.

"So what are you turning into me now?"

Nathan turned around to face Lucas.

"Oh my God."

Nathan's eyes were red and baggy, and he looked like he had just been beaten up.

"What happened?"

"She said…"

Nathan tried to speak but the words weren't coming out. His throat was dry and his body was weak, partly because he hadn't slept at all and partly because he had spent the entire night shooting free throw after free throw.

"She wants a divorce."

There it was. He had thought it all night long, but now that he said it, it was a reality.

Lucas shook his head. "Nate she doesn't want that, you know she doesn't. She loves you, she just…needs some time. Why don't you just go home and fix it?"

Nathan threw the ball down on the court as hard as he could. He put a hand on his back, which was still not in perfect shape from his accident, and winced in pain.

"You don't understand Lucas," he said after catching his breath. "I can't fix this. If you haven't figured it out by now I'm pretty good at making mistakes, and most of the time, somehow, I can take them all back. But there comes a point when everything adds up and even the most understanding person in the world can't forgive me."

Lucas watched sadly as his little brother walked off the court. He knew Nate was overreacting. Whatever fight they had the night before was going to blow over, just like all the other ones, and they'd be back together, doing all their cheesy married couple things, soon enough. Nathan was right about one thing. Haley was the most understanding person in the world - and he was her husband. It would all be okay.


	3. Chapter 3

After visiting Lindsey, Lucas wasn't surprised when he pulled into his driveway and found Nathan's car there. He knew that Nate might be angry at him for saying that he could fix his mistake, but he also knew that besides Haley and Jamie, his brother didn't really have anyone to turn to but him. If Nathan absolutely couldn't go back home to his family, this was the next best place.

Luke opened the door and saw Nathan sleeping on his couch. He tried to pull the door shut as quietly as possible until he noticed that his brother, without turning around, had moved into a sitting position.

"Is my life really horrible or was that a nightmare?"

Lucas took a seat on the chair closest to Nathan.

"Look I know this sucks."

Nathan smirked a little and shook his head, the way he used to when something was making him angry and he chose to rise above it. At least that's what he thought he was doing. Really, he was just being a coward and refusing to take responsibility for his actions. Already he was acting the way he did back then, before he knew Haley, before he became a better man.

"Nathan you can't be like this. You have to talk to her at least. How do you know she isn't going to let you right back in? It's Haley. She doesn't just...jump into things, she thinks them over and probably after a night of doing that, she's already realized that this is all meaningless and she just wants you to come back."

Nathan looked down at his cell phone. "Then why hasn't she called me?"

Lucas hated to see his brother like this. He knew that smirk and he knew this situation all too well, the one where Haley leaves and Nathan turns into someone who doesn't care, someone who goes into a dark place where he only makes himself hurt more.

It had only been one night without his wife, and Nathan already felt himself falling into a hole. He had already been through all of it once, and he was lucky to have a second chance. But this time Haley wasn't on a rock tour. She was right where he needed her to be. Home.

He got up off the couch.

"I guess I need to go." He looked at Lucas, who nodded in agreement.

--

Haley was looking at a photograph of herself with her husband and son when she heard a knock on the door. She was relieved a little, because she knew that if he was still the man she fell in love with, Nathan would fight for her. Then she remembered why she had said their marriage was over in the first place. She couldn't take the heartache or the fighting anymore. She had meant what she said.

Haley slowly walked toward the door, afraid of the conversation that would take place. She was angry with Nathan, but she didn't have the strength to argue. She also couldn't take him back. His apologetic words and sad smile could so easily get to her, but she reminded herself that she could only take so much. He might have tried to protect his family, but he had only hurt them. Both of them.

Nathan was standing nervously with his hands in his pockets when she opened the door. She expected that the events of the night before would have an impact on her husband, but she felt horrible for the broken man that stood in front of her. Haley didn't quite have the words to address him, so he had to step into the house without her consent.

"Look, I know…sorry is not really enough right now. But I have to start somewhere."


	4. Chapter 4

Haley ran her hand through her hair. It was what she did in uncomfortable situations, when there was nothing else to say or do.

Nathan knew why she did it. After six years of marriage, he knew things about Haley that even she didn't. They had been sitting at the kitchen table in silence for what seemed like forever. Finally, Nathan got the courage to speak.

"Carrie meant nothing to me."

She didn't know how to respond. Of course Carrie meant nothing. She knew that Nathan didn't love anyone else, and she knew that he didn't mean to hurt her. But that wasn't it.

"Nathan I know that. But I thought that your family did mean something."

"You do, you mean everything."

"Then why can't we ever be enough for you?!"

She had screamed it. Every voice in her mind that told her to stay calm was silenced by the question that had been burning inside of her since the night before. Now they would fight.

"God, why can't you just be with me and let the rest fall into place? You're always looking somewhere else to get the things you want. We've been married six years so now you need some hot new girl to look at? And what would all of this be without your precious basketball? You know what I wanted? You. What I came home to at night, that was the best it got for me. And I loved it. But I guess you didn't."

The tears were now streaming down her face. All Nathan wanted to do was pull her close and hold her in his arms forever, but he knew she wouldn't let him. And that hurt more than any words she could have said to him.

"I did, Haley. I do. Look, I know that you can't trust me right now, but. I need you to know that I love you and I won't give up on us."

_Here it goes_, she thought. He always had a way with words. Even when she was mad at him for something, Nathan had the ability to talk her into smiling at him again. _You can't give in. _

"You should go," she said softly.

"Haley -"

She looked at him, defeated. He was pleading for forgiveness, an all-too familiar situation. His eyes searched her face for an answer until he finally realized that Haley was not going to back down. Without another word, Nathan left the house.


	5. Chapter 5

"Uncle Lucas!" Jamie yelled as Luke came in the door of his best friend's house.

"Hey little man. Where's your mom?"

"She's upstairs. Is daddy coming too?"

Lucas shook his head.

"I'll tell you what though. After I talk to your mom for a little while, you and I can go hang out with your dad."

"Really?!"

Lucas smiled and nodded.

"You're the best!" Jamie exclaimed before running off to resume playing with his toys.

"He's right, you are," Haley added as she walked right into Luke's arms.

He closed his eyes and squeezed her tightly.

"How are you holding up?"

"You know I'm not really a fan of being alone."

"You're not alone Hales. I'm right here. I always will be."

"I know you will."

She started to walk to the couch where they both took seats.

"So I know you have a wedding coming up and I hate to put this on you," Haley said, "but I'm just really stressing out trying to fill out all these divorce papers."

Lucas was a little shocked at what Haley was doing. He had seen her and Nathan mad at each other and he even knew they signed annulment papers for their first marriage, but he had an idea in his head that any problem in their relationship, however big or small, would be solved. Because like Brooke had once said, they made everyone believe in true love. And if Nathan and Haley weren't together, then the world just wasn't right.

"Are you sure about this?" Lucas asked.

Haley put down the pen and documents in her hand and faced her friend.

"Luke do you remember when I first started tutoring Nathan and you questioned his intentions? You thought that all he cared about was himself and basketball?"

"Yeah…"

"I firmly believe that he changed, I do. If he hadn't, I wouldn't have fallen in love with him. But sometimes when people try to become something they're not, they end up causing pain - not just in themselves but in the people they love. Luke, I love him. And he loves me. You know that. But love alone can't keep us together. Because deep down, he's still that person who can't give up other things for me. And I get that. It's just his nature. But I can't suffer because of it anymore."


	6. Chapter 6

The alarm clock went off in the guest room of Lucas's house. Nathan moved his arm to press the snooze button, groaning as he realized that another day was about to start. He was beginning to feel like night time was the only good part of his life, when he could dream that he was still living at home with Haley and Jamie.

Two weeks had passed since their conversation at the kitchen table. He had tried to communicate with her again, but she didn't want to see him. She let Jamie come home with Lucas so he could spend time with his dad, but as far as her marriage to Nathan was concerned, Haley was done. She was emotionally exhausted and needed to move on, no matter how much she loved her husband.

"Hey Nate…"

He looked up at his brother standing in the doorway. He waited for him to continue whatever it was he wanted to say, but Lucas looked hesitant.

"Yeah?"

"I hate to do this to you but…"

Nathan finally realized why Luke was so reluctant to talk to him. He glanced down into his brother's hands and took the documents. He felt his body shake a little as he tried to grasp them, and they fell to the ground.

Lucas pitied Nate at that moment more than ever: the way he looked, the way he spent most of the day in bed, the way he hid from the truth. Lucas opened his mouth to say something else, but he realized there was simply nothing left to say or do. He decided instead to close the door and let his brother be.

Nathan didn't even pick the papers up off the floor. Instead, he lay back in bed and thought about how long he had been staying with Lucas. It sucked that he had to intrude on his brother, and it really sucked that he had to see Lucas and Lindsey falling for each other and getting ready for a life of happiness together . It was not too long ago that Nathan and Haley were in that same position. And God, how he would die to be back there now.

Then again, if he left Lucas's place, who else could he turn to? He thought about the people who helped him through this once before.

_I know Haley and she's a good person. She'll do the right thing. You just have to have a little faith. _

But Karen was half way across the world. She would probably say the same exact thing now anyway. But Nathan didn't really believe in faith. Not when everything seemed to be going so wrong.

How had he gotten out of this mess back then? Who was it that got to him and made him believe in Haley again?

Impulsively, Nathan reached for his phone and started dialing a number. He waited patiently for the person on the other end, someone he had counted on long ago and turned to now as a last resort.

Finally, she picked up.

"Taylor? It's Nathan."


	7. Chapter 7

"Uhh…Nathan? Nathan Scott?"

"Yeah, what other Nathan would it be?"

"Well…"

"Actually don't answer that."

Taylor laughed a little as the conversation brought back memories of the times she bonded with her sister's husband.

"So what, did you dial the wrong number or something?"

"No, I was actually wondering if The Swinging Donkey was still in business."

"Absolutely. Just…um. Tell me my sister is coming with you."

Taylor sincerely hoped that Nathan and Haley were happy and that Nathan wasn't hurting again.

"I'm afraid not."

She swallowed hard.

"What happened?"

"It's a long story, but…I was thinking if I came down and told you it over a couple of drinks, it'd be better than just sitting here moping about it."

Taylor didn't want to allow Nathan to come to her for comfort. What good was she anyway? If Haley found out, there was no chance that she would let her husband come home. But Nate was such a good person. And his voice sounded so desperate over the phone. After a few seconds of silence, she finally gave in.

"Yeah. Come whenever you want."

"Thanks."

--

Upon waking up, Haley felt like she was about to faint.

_Whoa,_ she must have said out loud as she tried to stand up, because Jamie soon came running up to her.

"What's wrong Mama?"

"I, um…I…" She ran to the bathroom, feeling extremely ill now.

"Haley?"

"I think she's sick," Jamie told Peyton as she entered the front door.

Rather than taking Jamie's word for it, she headed back to Haley's bedroom and saw her sitting on the floor of the bathroom.

"Oh my God Haley are you okay?"

"Yeah…I'm just…a little nauseous. Could you help me up?"

Peyton took both of her friend's hands and sat her down on her bed.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Haley asked, remembering that if any one of her friends dropped in for a visit, it usually wasn't Peyton.

"Well I was gonna get you in the recording studio today, but it looks like you've got a stomach virus or something…"

"Yeah, I um." Haley stopped to catch her breath.

"Do you need me to take you to the doctor? You don't look too good."

"No I'm just gonna lay back down. Could you just take Jamie to school though?"

"Yeah, sure. You should get some rest."

"Don't worry about me," Haley mumbled as she drifted back under her covers.


	8. Chapter 8

Nathan pulled into the parking lot of The Swinging Donkey. It had been a long journey, but if this was the place where he would find the answers, then it was worth it.

As he pushed the door open, the memories immediately came flooding back. He saw the table where he and Taylor had drinks together that night, the bar he was eventually forced to dance on, and of course, the girls with the cowboy hats and sexy outfits who had the ability to make him forget that back home, his marriage was falling apart.

That was then. This was another time. But even though Nathan had thought he was a new man, someone who had moved on from this lifestyle, maybe he wasn't after all. Maybe, he hoped, this place could still give him that feeling that he wasn't completely alone in the world.

Nathan's thoughts were interrupted by a gorgeous woman approaching him. She stood out from the crowd because she was sophisticated, wearing a short black dress, pumps, and glistening diamond earrings. Although he could spot her in his peripheral vision, Nathan did not look closely. In fact, he pretended not to notice because he didn't want to believe that he was actually looking at another woman. How many years had he been married to Haley? And yes, he was single. Yes, he was at a bar to be with other girls. But he knew that Haley wasn't out searching for a hot new husband. Because she was still hurt. And now that he had reminded himself, so was he.

Nathan's heart pounded as he heard the loud steps of the woman in heels get increasingly louder behind him, and then stop.

"You know, you technically invited yourself here so I'm not obligated to welcome you or anything."

Nathan quickly motioned to turn around as he recognized that famous, sarcastic yet loving tone of voice. The minute his eyes fell upon her face he stopped in his tracks.

"What? Can't we hug or something? I mean you may not be my brother-in-law for much longer but I was kidding about ignoring you."

He smiled and threw his arms around her before he stood back again, shocked at how different she was.

"What happened to you?" he kidded.

"I grew up," she answered.

"Finally."

"No, I did," she replied, seriously this time. "Look when you called…I knew we hadn't spoken or seen each other in a long time. And obviously I'm not the same person you called for help years ago. But. I figured, who am I to tell you that people change, right?"

Nathan shrugged. "Yeah I guess so." He had never really thought about it before. Since he last saw Taylor, he had renewed his vows with Haley, he'd seen Keith and Jimmy lose their lives, he'd gone to high school and college, he'd become a father, he'd lost basketball. Nathan wasn't the same, so what made him think that Taylor would still be dancing on bars?

"What did you come for anyway?" she suddenly asked.

Seeing that he didn't quite know how to answer, she started again, "I mean - I know. That you're heartbroken and you need to get away, but…why here?"

"Well I guess…I remembered that you're a lonely person. And you're pretty good at it too. And you know that last time I came here I wanted all the wrong things. Just because I was angry…and young…and didn't realize that I should be home fighting for what I had, instead of here, waiting for it to slip away."

"So why aren't you doing that now?"

"I'm thinking I need to figure out how to be alright on my own before I fight for someone else. And you are alright on your own Taylor, you're the only person I know who just leaves all her cares behind and has fun in life. And I have to admit I'm jealous of that."

Taylor looked down at the ground. It was one of the typical James girls looks, specifically the one right after a compliment when they feel shy and uncomfortable.

"You're just like Haley," he remarked, smiling at her reaction.

She looked up and smiled a little, knowing what he was referring to, but indicating that something else had caused her eyes to drift to the floor.

"No, it's just -" she started. Suddenly she glanced over to her left ring finger and held it up. A beautiful diamond ring. "I'm uh…I'm getting married," she said.

Nathan was now even more shocked at the girl he used to know. Slowly, she began to tell the story behind what she had just announced.

"His name is Dave. Last year he danced on the bar with me, just like you did once. And after that we went upstairs…you know, the normal routine. After we sat down on the couch he started talking about the bar and how it could use some changes. We got into a little argument over it because of course I worked here and knew how everything went, but he had different ideas, things to improve. I remember telling him that we couldn't take away the traditions because so many hopeless hearts had come here and had been a part of them. Whether people look at this place and say 'life is short, it's only one night, let's have fun', or whether they see all of it and realize that it's time to go home and face the truth…it's important that this is all here so that someone out there, even if it's only one lonely soul, comes into The Swinging Donkey and discovers some kind of important revelation about their life…and how it could be better."

She laughed a little. "I guess that was the famous line that got him to like me. But either way, I'm sorry if you came here to watch me dance or make out with me or…hang out with the old Taylor. Because the new Taylor is the manager of this place, overseeing all these broken hearts, and hoping that someone like Dave will walk in here and help mend them, at least one of them, because God help the people who never get to fall in love."

Nathan looked directly into Taylor's eyes, at this person who he had naively come to for advice on how to be alone. She was beautiful, engaged, happy, and successful. Everything he wanted. Everything he had been with Haley and Jamie. Now he was in her former place: heartbroken and alone.

Taylor noticed that Nathan was surprised by her story, and still hurting by whatever happened with her sister.

"Just because I'm manager though," she told him, "doesn't mean I can't step out for a while." She reached for his hand and he squeezed it tightly, the only hand he'd held in weeks. Nathan took one last look at the bar before they left together.


	9. Chapter 9

Haley woke up as frantic thoughts started gathering in her head.

_Why was she still asleep? Did Jamie leave for school yet? Was Lucas taking him today?_

"Hales," she heard from across the room.

Haley sat up as Luke's voice made her even more confused.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him.

"I just came to check on you, Peyton said you weren't feeling well, and…well I was just a little worried, that's all."

Haley smiled. She loved when Lucas worried about her, because she knew that no matter how things were with Nathan or anyone else, he would always be watching out for her, even if she was just a little sick.

"I'm -" Haley yawned before getting another word out. "Really tired," she finished.

"How long have you been sick?"

"I don't really know to be honest," Haley answered him.

"Look, Peyton said she'd get Jamie from school so I think you should go see a doctor. Come on, I'll take you."

"No, Luke, don't be stupid, it'll go away."

Haley was always resistant to accept help. It was one of her instincts as a tutor, someone who is always expected to know the solution to a problem. But Lucas feared for his friend's safety, especially because of the divorce. He sat down on her bed.

"Haley listen to me. I'm sure you're fine," he reassured her. "But I won't be able to sleep tonight unless I know that for a fact. So will you please just go and let me go with you so we'll both be okay?"

Luke was such a good friend sometimes that even Haley's stubborn attitude didn't work. She always ended up giving in to that warm smile and those caring hands offering to help her up and make her better. Today was no exception.

"Fine," she agreed, letting him guide her out the front door of the house and into the car.

It was only one hour later that the doctor approached the pair to reveal what had been bothering Haley. Finally, as Lucas said, they could both sleep tonight and be okay.

"Congratulations Mrs. Scott," the doctor announced. "You're pregnant."

How wrong Haley's best friend had been.


	10. Chapter 10

"So I asked you why you came here and I know that was kind of a stupid question," Taylor admitted apologetically.

"No," Nathan shook his head. "It's a perfectly good one. One that I probably don't even know the real answer to."

"What happened?" she asked.

"It's a long story of…a bar fight, depression, a nanny jumping in the shower with me, and a near drowning incident," Nathan stated.

"Wow." Even Taylor was surprised at what he'd done.

"I guess it doesn't really matter what I did. It matters that it was enough to make her say she wanted a divorce. And I understand that I made some bad choices and mistakes that Haley had to witness…but. What else can I do?"

"Do you remember what I told you last time you came to The Swinging Donkey?"

"Oh yeah. That if I ever came back you'd give me a free lap dance. So whatever happened to that anyway?"

"Seriously. I told you that you just needed to try being on your own. And I think you came back looking for that again. Me telling you that you can be happy without her, you can grow, you can learn, and you can live. But just to change it up a little bit…and really just for your own good, I'm not gonna tell you that today."

Taylor stopped walking and Nathan followed, confused that this girl was practically a walking success story and had nothing to say to the soon-to-be-single man beside her.

"Because if I ever let you think you could live this life alone, I was wrong, Nathan," she admitted. "See I was a person who took a little longer to find the man I wanted to be with. I didn't know my place in the world until that person showed me the way and gave me a purpose. For six years, my sister has been that person for you. And somehow I don't think some…nanny is going to break you two up. Hey, even I didn't. And I know I can be pretty hard to resist, so…"

He smiled faintly and gestured back to The Swinging Donkey parking lot.

"I should…"

"Yeah, you should."

"Thank you," Nathan said, hugging Taylor. "…Again," he added, remembering that she had a strange way of always making him feel better about fights with Haley.

"Don't thank me," she replied.

She decided to let him walk back to the bar alone, even though she eventually had to get back to work anyway. Nathan needed to know that although some people could live just by loving places, ideas, and experiences, others could love people, and once they found it in their hearts to do that, they could never go back to a life of loneliness.

Likewise, he had found basketball, but even more importantly, he had found Haley. Nathan could deal with losing the first, but as he neared his car, he started to revisit the idea that he just wouldn't allow himself to lose the second.


	11. Chapter 11

Haley was just beginning to think that her disease caused hearing failure when Lucas chimed in.

"She's what?"

"You're pregnant." The doctor smiled warmly, waiting for a response. "I'm assuming you're her husband?"

"Oh…no," Lucas corrected the woman.

_I'm pregnant, _Haley thought. She remembered how scared she was when she had first discovered that Jamie was on the way. Nathan was so young and she had no idea how he would react to the news. Lucas was the one who'd been there then, and here he was again now. But this time she wasn't scared to tell Nathan, because he wouldn't be there to raise their second child. As much as Lucas could help her, he wasn't the father. He wasn't Nathan. She was alone.

Right there, in the doctor's office, Haley broke down in tears.

"So who is the father?" the doctor asked as she detected a different vibe in the room, one that was certainly not happiness.

Lucas went over to his best friend and let her bury her head into his chest.

"Can we get back to you on this?" he asked the doctor as he led her out.

--

Nathan had a smile on his face as he pulled into Luke's driveway. Taylor had been right when she said that The Swinging Donkey could allow people to discover who they are and what they want. He felt like a new man, one that would look his wife in the eyes and sincerely tell her that he couldn't be without her. How could she not accept that? She had to. She would.

He was surprised to see Lucas and Haley slip into the front door with his arm around her waist as he approached the house. Why wasn't Haley at school today? And who was picking up Jamie?

Nathan quickly got out of his car and walked up to the front door, worried that something was wrong. He caught the door just before Lucas could close it and Haley, not expecting to face him, immediately turned around.

"Nathan-" she started.

"Hales what's wrong?" he asked.

Lucas and Haley exchanged glances. Nathan hated when the two of them did this, because even though Luke was her best friend, he was still her husband and should be entitled to any secrets, especially any that related to his wife's well-being.

Luke stood next to both of them, attempting to protect his best friend and his brother from any more fights.

"Can we talk?" Haley asked Nathan.

Realizing that this might be a peaceful conversation, Luke backed away. He knew what was coming, and he was scared for that moment, just as he was when Haley had told Nathan about her first pregnancy in high school.

Nathan and Haley walked out the back door and stood on the patio that would soon belong to both Lucas and Lindsey. Nate was glad they were alone, but he wondered why they had to have such a serious discussion. His stomach felt like it had flipped over five times since he had walked in the door.

Haley knew that if she hesitated any longer, the words would never leave her mouth. She decided to just say it.

"I'm pregnant."

Nathan smiled to himself, but after a few moments of thinking, his facial expression transformed into a serious one. He knew that despite his efforts to fight for her, and his efforts to go away and give her time to think, Haley still felt the same way. Otherwise, she would be just as happy as he was about the pregnancy.

"What are we going to do?" was the only question he could think of.

"I don't really know," Haley said as a tear rolled down her face. Nathan wiped it away with the back of his hand, and she let him, because she knew that even though she had asked for a divorce, she still needed to lean on him at a time like this, an experience that only the two of them were going through.


	12. Chapter 12

As Peyton unlocked the door of Haley's house to bring Jamie in, she was taken aback by the sight of both Nathan and Haley inside. They were sitting on opposite couches but they were still facing each other, and it seemed like Haley was giving Nathan more of a chance than she ever had since he moved out.

"Daddy!" Jamie screamed, running up to his father.

"Hey buddy," Nathan said, holding his son tightly.

"Is everything okay?" Peyton asked, looking from one friend to the other.

Nathan knew that Haley didn't want to answer. Not with the truth, at least.

"Yeah, I just….came over because Haley wasn't feeling well."

Peyton nodded but still looked to Haley for reassurance, because she had a hard time believing that Haley wanted Nathan around when she was so sick.

"We're fine," Haley managed to get out.

Nathan looked at his wife. _We're fine? No we're not. _

"Alright well do you want me to…" Peyton motioned to Jamie, as if to ask if he should be gone for whatever conversation his parents were having.

Haley nodded regretfully, not wanting to let her son go, but also not wanting to hurt him anymore.

"Come on Jamie we're going out for ice cream!" Peyton yelled excitedly, taking the little boy's hand.

After they'd left, Haley started to talk. She knew some kind of civilized discussion had to take place. No yelling, no arguing, just the two of them, talking about what was best for them and for their children.

"So did you sign the -"

" - No." He cut her off before she said the word "divorce" again. He could barely handle hearing her say it once, let alone now again.

"Why not?"

"Couldn't bring myself to do it," he shrugged.

"Well now I guess this gets a little more complicated," she said, breathing deeply.

"Are you going to have this baby?" he blurted out.

Her eyes turned to look at him, with a sad face, one that made him cringe on the inside. Nathan hated to see her eyes fill up with tears and look at him with such an expression.

"Is that what you think?" she asked. "That I'm not going to have it? What would I do, just give it up? It's my child, Nathan," she said, in disbelief.

He got up and finally joined her on the other couch.

"No," he said, correcting her. "It's our child."

Haley shook her head. "Maybe…but why does it even mean anything anymore?"

"Because I love you Haley," he told her. "And knowing that you can't still say the same to me haunts me day in and day out. You might think that I'm always looking somewhere else to find the things that I want and need, but if I haven't ever told you before, you and Jamie are the only things in my life that matter. Do you understand that? My life without you is incomplete." He was pleading with her, knowing it was his last chance to make everything right. If he didn't get through to her now, he was about to go home and sign the divorce papers.

"And this baby," he continued, "if you would only believe what I'm telling you…is one of the best things that ever happened to me."

She was crying now, letting out every emotion that had been building up for weeks. He moved closer to her on the couch, and slowly pulled her closer into him, until finally she was wrapped in his arms.


	13. Chapter 13

Not wanting to violate Haley or force her into an uncomfortable situation, Nathan decided to sleep on the couch for the night. He was happy that she had listened to him, but he also worried that Haley let him back in not because she forgave him, but because she did not want to raise their child alone.

For two weeks, the Scott family followed the same routine. Haley would sleep in her bedroom, and Nathan downstairs. Since she started to feel better, Haley would go to work, while Jamie went to school each day. Nathan, having a lot of free time, would help Luke at basketball practice, work out himself, and stop by the store to buy his wife a small gift. The last part of his daily schedule was the most important, because he knew that he had been given a chance to earn back Haley's trust, and he had to make the most of it.

The fear that Haley's pregnancy was the reason for her change of heart started to dissolve, as Nathan noticed that his wife never even brought up the baby. In fact, they hardly ever discussed anything of importance. Although they lived together and had a conversation or two every day, there was still an undeniable distance between them.

One night, the silence finally ended. Nathan was on his way home from the store with what he viewed as his best gift yet. Cracker jacks, a box of macaroni and cheese, and lingerie…all reminders of their very first date. He proudly walked into the door and presented her with the bag.

She glanced into it and grinned. He didn't expect her to jump in the air; after all, she was pregnant. But Nathan was at least glad to see a look of appreciation come across her face.

"I'm gonna…" Nathan motioned to the couch. "Good night."

"Hey," Haley said, causing him to turn around. "The divorce papers."

_Divorce papers? __Why did she have to bring those up when everything was stable? _

"I can -" he started before he was cut off.

"Don't," Haley told him.

Nathan looked away and breathed out. "Haley don't lie to yourself just because you're pregnant. You wanted this and it sucks, but I'll be okay someday."

She was frustrated with this response. All he wanted was forgiveness, and Haley was practically handing it to him on a silver platter.

"What do you want from me?" she asked him, confused.

"I want you to explain to me why you can tell me our marriage is over and then take it back. I accepted this, I…" He looked at her helplessly, lost for words.

"Nathan listen to me," she said, approaching him. "I said things I didn't mean that night. We both did. After all of it I just…I needed some time. To heal. When life gets hard, when someone puts me down and I'm heartbroken, I can usually brush it off and move on. But you have to understand that when my heart breaks because of you, you of all people, I just…fall apart. And when I tried to pick myself up over these past few weeks, I realized that I couldn't do it because you weren't there. When you're not beside me, I need you. And not just because I'm having a baby."

"Then why?" This time he wanted a convincing answer.

She approached him and took his hands. Looking into her eyes, he sensed that she was being sincere.

"Because no matter what, you make me a better person," she said. "And I don't ever, ever want you to think that you'll be okay someday without me."

He tightened his grip on her hands.

"I just want you to come home, for real, not on my couch, and not just as a father to my son and my unborn baby, but just as my other half and my best friend and…the person that I'll always love no matter how many mistakes he makes. I love you, Nathan."

His heart was pounding and seemed to beat perfectly with hers, which was also pumping at a faster than normal pace. They had finally both surrendered, given up this stupid game of back and forth, up and down, talking and silence, fighting and compromising. For the first time in months, the entire world seemed to be in black and white, while the two of them, standing there in the middle of it all, were in bright color. Nothing mattered but their love, which was still alive, despite everything that had taken place. He felt it and she felt it, and passionately, they held each other and kissed. Her hands grasped his shirt while his arms were fixed around her lower back, and they seemed to stay that way for an eternity.

Finally, she pulled away, and lay her head right under his chin.

It may have been a faint whisper, but he could clearly make it out, and was overjoyed to hear it.

"I missed you."


	14. Chapter 14

Nine months went by quickly. Although he and Haley were now back to the way it used to be, Nathan did not stop his tradition of picking up gifts for his wife. He never wanted her to feel that he found happiness somewhere else, because the truth was that all his joy came from her.

This time, the baby was a girl. Haley had surprised him at the river court one day, when she was supposed to be teaching and had taken the day off for a doctor's appointment instead.

"_Hey what happened, why aren't you at school?" _

"_I didn't go today. I was somewhere else."_

"_What do you mean? You didn't start your leave yet, did you?"_

"_I was finding something out." She smiled, hinting at what it might be._

"_What?" Obviously he wasn't reading too much into it._

"_That Jamie's gonna have a little sister."_

_First he laughed. Then he gently touched her stomach and gave her a huge kiss. And of course, so typically, the smile wiped right off his face as he questioned,_

"_Why did you go alone? You shouldn't be doing that."_

"_It's a girl Nathan," she smiled, reminding him that the details of the appointment didn't matter._

_He smiled again, and pulled her into his arms._

"_It's a girl," he repeated._

On the day before Haley's due date, Nathan pulled into the driveway. Today, the present was a beautiful pink blanket, the first gift that their daughter would have. He smiled as he entered the house and spotted his wife sitting down with her back to him.

"Hales come here, I have something for you," he said.

"Nathan," she said seriously, without getting up or turning around.

He rushed over and stood in front of her, hoping that she was okay.

"I think…"

"Oh God," Nathan said as he realized what was going on. At least it wasn't in the middle of graduation this time. "Come on, let's get in the car, I'll call Lucas to help."

She took her husband's hand, grabbing her stomach in pain.

_This is it,_ he thought.


	15. Chapter 15

Lucas, Lindsey, Peyton, and Brooke had all gathered in the waiting room. Of course Peyton and Brooke were on one side of the room, and Lucas and Lindsey were on the other, because although everyone had learned to tolerate each other, the group didn't want to risk any drama on the day Haley was having her baby.

Inside the small hospital room, Nathan was continually squeezing his wife's hand and encouraging her, just as he had done five years ago.

Finally, after a few hours, Lucas, who had nervously relocated to right outside the door of the room, heard a cry. It was small and weak, but it was a cry, and it made him smile because he knew that with this new life, Nathan and Haley themselves had a chance at new life. As this baby was born, their relationship was reborn and they left their past behind.

Haley sighed as the doctors handed over her daughter.

"She has your eyes," Nathan said, beaming at this little miracle.

Haley hugged her baby before handing her off to her father. Nathan took her into his arms and rocked her back and forth.

"Jamie's a big brother," Haley remembered, thinking of her son, who would soon be called out of school and brought to the hospital.

Nathan looked over at his wife and leaned in to kiss her softly. "I love you," he told her.

Haley thought of the last year and all that had happened. She marveled at how strong their relationship was, how they could survive anything and everything, and how he made her so happy. And most of all, how she was so glad to have this very moment, just her and Nathan, sharing in the joy of a new beginning.

"I love you too," she replied with a smile.


End file.
